CASE TEO-2026-007 · SEVERITY: SERIOUS
The Snooze Button Entrapment
Night Owl, Dublin 8 v. The Alarm Clock
TESTIMONY OF THE PLAINTIFF
“The button says 'snooze'. It is the largest button on the device. It is right there. And then it gives me nine minutes. Nine! Who decided nine?”
WITNESSES: The Snooze Button
The ruling
Guilty“Unlike Monday, the Alarm Clock chose its actions. Nine minutes is a deliberate cruelty.”
— Chief Justice Grandfather Clock, 2026-02-09
SENTENCE: Probation until noon, and the snooze interval to be set to a round number.
PRECEDENTS CITED