Statutes

Vanishing at the precise moment one is needed.

MAXIMUM SENTENCE: Permanent relocation to a clearly labelled drawer

Ceasing to function days after the warranty ends.

MAXIMUM SENTENCE: Public display as a cautionary tale

Displaying a status (full bars, 'almost done', 'sunny') that is untrue.

MAXIMUM SENTENCE: Mandatory honesty indicator

Lying in wait on a floor, specifically in the dark.

MAXIMUM SENTENCE: Confinement to a tub with a lid

Becoming knotted while left completely alone.

MAXIMUM SENTENCE: Rehabilitation on a spool

Beeping, creaking or rattling with no discernible purpose.

MAXIMUM SENTENCE: Removal of voice privileges

Undermining a person before 9am.

MAXIMUM SENTENCE: Probation until noon

Acting in concert with another object to ruin an afternoon.

MAXIMUM SENTENCE: Separation from all known accomplices