CASE TEO-2026-003 · SEVERITY: GRAVE
Full Bars, Zero Internet
Remote Worker, Co. Galway v. The Wi-Fi
TESTIMONY OF THE PLAINTIFF
“The defendant showed five full bars for the entire meeting. My face froze mid-sentence while presenting quarterly numbers. My boss saw me frozen with my mouth open for 40 seconds.”
WITNESSES: The Frozen Video Call · My Boss
The ruling
Guilty“Displaying full bars while delivering nothing is the purest form of false pretences this court has seen.”
— Chief Justice Grandfather Clock, 2026-04-14
SENTENCE: Mandatory honesty indicator: bars must now reflect actual performance.